Rev. Dr. Mike Wooton

Oh boy… looks like things are getting serious. That’s exciting, and it should be! Now, it’s time to get intentional.

This is the point where dating starts to shift. You’re no longer just asking, “Do we enjoy being together?” Now you’re asking, “Could we build a life together?”

Before you rush ahead, here are a few things you need to think through, pray through, and talk through as things move to the next level.

1. Invite Godly Counsel

As a relationship becomes more serious, it is important to bring it into Christian community. Talk with people who know you, care about you, and are spiritually grounded like family, mentors, pastors, or trusted friends. Ask them honest questions about the relationship and about your readiness for marriage. You may not see everything clearly, but others can help you gain perspective.

2. Be Ready for Honest Feedback

If you ask for wisdom, you have to be ready to receive it. Not every response will be easy to hear, but honesty is a gift, not a threat. Think in terms of green, yellow, and red flags; affirmation, concerns, and serious warnings….and be willing to process each one. Growth often comes through the very feedback we didn’t expect.

3. Respond with Maturity, Not Defensiveness

You do not have to agree with every opinion, but you should respect the people who care enough to speak into your life. Some concerns may need to be addressed, while others may simply reflect different perspectives. Take time to reflect, and evaluate what you hear, but do not damage relationships by rejecting honest input too quickly.

4. Continue in Prayer and Trust God

As things get more serious, deepen your prayer life and trust God with what you cannot control. There is no perfect person, and God is not going to give you a relationship with zero risk or uncertainty. Instead of waiting for a perfect sign, seek peace, wisdom, and direction, knowing that faith is part of the process. The goal is not perfection, but a Christ-centered relationship that can grow over time.

5. Picture the Future Honestly

As a relationship becomes more serious, ask whether you can truly see a long-term life together. Consider your goals, calling, and direction, and whether they align. Honest conversations about the future are not problems, they are gifts that bring clarity and help you discern whether you are moving in the same direction.

6. Consider the In-Law Dynamic

When you marry someone, you are stepping into a family. It is important to ask how well you relate to their family and what expectations come with those relationships. Some in-law dynamics are a blessing, while others require patience and boundaries, but wisdom asks whether you can navigate that reality together.

7. Look for Direction and Purpose

As the relationship becomes more serious, consider whether this person has a sense of direction in life. They do not need to have everything figured out, but they should be moving somewhere with purpose, responsibility, and a willingness to grow. Direction impacts not only finances, but emotional, spiritual, and mental health as well. A lack of direction can become a serious concern, but a clear sense of purpose is often a sign of someone prepared for the future.

At the end of the day, this season is about discerning if you’re ready to build a life together. You don’t have to have every answer, but you do need to ask the right questions, listen well, and keep God at the center of it all.