I love walking around a hardware store. I can wander through the tool section, look at things and start imagining projects I could do with them. Now, can I actually use all those tools? Nope.
There’s something about tools that appeals to a lot of men. Give us the right equipment, a little time and maybe a YouTube video, and we feel like we can figure something out. Unfortunately, becoming the man God wants you to be doesn’t work quite like that. There’s no aisle at the hardware store where you can pick up patience, integrity, courage or wisdom.
Being a man can be difficult. Being a man of God can be even more difficult. Following Jesus will sometimes put you at odds with what comes naturally to you and what the culture around you celebrates.
One of my favorite descriptions of the life God wants for us comes from Micah 6:8: “Act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.” It wasn’t written exclusively to men, but I think it gives us a great starting point for thinking about the kind of men Jesus is shaping us to become.
Here are five places I think that starts.
1. Be the same guy everywhere.
One of the greatest things you can develop as a man is integrity. Be the same man at home that you are at church. Be the same man when the boss leaves the room. Be the same man when nobody else can see what’s on your phone.
That doesn’t mean you’ll be perfect. You’re going to mess up, lose your patience, make bad decisions and occasionally say something that sounded much wiser inside your head. Integrity isn’t perfection. It’s refusing to build a life where there’s a public version of you and a secret version headed in another direction.
2. Get comfortable saying, “I was wrong.”
I don’t know many men who naturally enjoy these words. We tend to prefer things like, “That’s not what I meant,” or “You misunderstood me.” Given enough time, we can develop a fairly impressive defense.
Part of walking humbly with God is becoming teachable. You can have strong convictions without assuming you’re right about everything. In fact, one of the signs that you’re becoming more secure as a man is that being wrong doesn’t threaten you quite as much as it used to.
3. Take responsibility for what’s yours.
Some things in your life are outside your control. You can’t control the economy, what somebody else thinks about you, decisions other people make or things that happened years ago. There is plenty that God has placed in your hands.
Your attitude is yours. How you treat people is yours. The attention you give your family is yours. Your relationship with God… yep… that is yours too.
4. Use your strength to serve somebody.
I’ve been going to the weight room pretty consistently since I was a teenager. Unfortunately, no one can tell. Apparently, some results take longer than others. Good thing strength isn’t all about that.
Men receive a lot of mixed messages about what it means to be strong. Sometimes we’re told strength means taking charge, winning, being tough or making sure nobody pushes us around. Jesus gives us a different picture. He had enormous authority, yet He used His strength to serve.
Most of us have some kind of strength to offer. Maybe you actually have muscles to show for all those years in the weight room. Maybe your strength is knowledge, leadership, money, influence or simply having more experience than somebody else. Following Jesus changes the question from “What can I do with this?” to “Who can I help with this?”
5. Stay close to Jesus.
You can get a lot of things right and still get the most important thing wrong. You can build a career, provide for your family, stay in shape, become financially secure and have people respect you while slowly drifting away from God. Following Jesus as a man requires actually following Jesus.
Make room for Him in your real life. Read the Bible. Pray, even when you aren’t sure what to say. Go to church when you feel like going and when you don’t. Find some Christian men who know more about you than your favorite sports team. Be honest about your struggles. When you realize you’ve wandered, turn around.
The older I get, the less interested I am in becoming the guy who looks like he has everything figured out. I’d rather become a man who loves his family well, keeps his word, works hard, admits when he’s wrong, serves people who can’t repay him and keeps walking with Jesus when the current is pushing the other direction.
You won’t find the tools to become that man at the hardware store. You find them by following with Jesus.
Rev. Dr. Mike Wooton 
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