Rev. Dr. Mike Wooton

I’m hearing a lot about listening to one another lately. I’ve been hearing that since grade school in 1992 at Broadmeadow elementary. The teacher would say, “Kids, when we have differences, what are we supposed to do?” We would reply, “We listen to one another.” The inference is that listening will magically change a person to understand why they differ with another. Poof, change occurs! 

There are vast amounts of books and online conversations about racism, race and politics, racial history in America, and race and religion. Many people have attended cultural diversity training, seminars, and leadership conferences on culture and race.  A lot of listening has happened.  Yes, listening to others is a step in the process of identifying another person’s pain, plight and perspective. Listening to others is a good and necessary thing. It will build a sense of empathy for others, but it is only a step in the right direction.

Some of us are wondering, why do we seem to be at a stalemate? Why aren’t things actually changing? It’s because there is a step beyond listening.  

America, I know the next step. The step that will actually change things. The step that the future hinges upon, that will break inertia; the second conversation.

America, I know the next step. The step that will actually change things. The step that the future hinges upon, that will break inertia; the second conversation. #secondconversation

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What is the second conversation? It’s the conversation AFTER you listen to someone with a differing perspective. You’ve been there. When you walk away from listening to a differing perspective, and the friend you’re with gives you a look that says, “That person is an idiot.” Or, the sly comment made by a co-worker after a meeting that discredits a differing perspective. 

The second conversation is where a new wave of change occurs. It identifies “what” is in the way from understanding another’s viewpoint.

It is during the second conversation where new perspectives are nurtured or asphyxiated. It is in the second conversation where understanding is broadened or stunted. It is in the second conversation where the future and hope emerge, or, where a void remains. This is the next step for change.

What do you need to do during the second conversation? Be self-aware. Are you allowing another person’s negativity, ignorance, or straight up racism nullify what you just heard? If you’re not sure, how do you distinguish between a good point and ignorance? Asks questions like; “Why is this person discrediting what was said?” Are they removing bigotry and hate; if they are, take their thoughts into account. If not, why would you let their words sway you? 

For change to occur, many steps need to be taken. What should we do when we have differences? What I learned in elementary school; we should listen to one another. The next step? Be self-aware during the second conversation.  

Many steps need to occur to heal racial division. The next step is the second conversation. #secondconversation

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